Beautiful Lord

Enjoy this video and song called Beautiful Lord:))

A Triumph For Christianity in Qatar

With Islam on the march and warpath it may seem hopeless sometimes for some, but God is still in control in this world. Nothing is impossible with Him. The truth will stand even in darkness.

In the last few weeks in e-mails and during a chat with my Turkish boyfriend, he has expressed a desire to become a Christian. He says he wants us to be the same, and since as he says he dislikes Muslims because they think only about war and killing, he says he prays to Jesus now. His grandfather came from Greece and his grandmother from Bulgaria. He also told me recently that one of his grandfather's grandparents were Christians but was forced to become a Muslim by the Ottomans. I feel guilty because I have not be dilligent in sharing my faith, even with him. Still despite my laxity, he seems to be discovering Christ on his own. On a personal level Christianity may be triumphing.

Today I found this article about the first church being established in the Arab Gulf nation of Qatar. Truly God is in control and the church and the truth will not be defeated by darkness:

Christians in Qatar will celebrate Easter this year in a church for the first time in 14 centuries.

Next month, the St. Mary’s Catholic Church will be among the first of a series of churches to open its doors in the Qatar capital of Doha. Anglican, Greek Orthodox, and Coptic churches are expected to soon follow.

"A few years ago, opening a church in Qatar was sort of impossible, but Qatar has changed since the coming of the new emir,” Italian ambassador Igantio Di Pashi recently told a local Qatari newspaper, noting the significance of the country’s first church since the 7th century. (Continue)

Pakistani Christian Keeps On Preaching

I was and once again a big fan of a Christian radio station at Toccoa Falls College which is north of my town/city of Athens. In the last few weeks I have returned to the station to listen some evenings and also when I am dressing for work. What the station presents is a more intelligent and global way of telling about the Gospel instead of the usual American way of mixing politics with Christianity, or presenting God like a genie in the sky who will grant us all our worldly wishes for money and material things. What is occurring in the church widewide is often discussed. Last week a pastor from church in Bulgaria was interviewed. The week before I heard a news report about a street preacher in Pakistan.

The report said that there are few majority Christian neighborhoods in Pakistan. But in this case, where this Pakistani Christian was preaching on the street was one of only a few Christian communities in the country. While was he proclaiming the Gospel of Jesus Christ, two Muslim men came up to him and demanded that he stop preaching. He ignored them and continued doing what he was doing. The two men left, but showed up again and brutally attacked him. He was sent to the hospital, where he recovered. Once he was discharged, he went back to preaching in that neighborhood. At the time of the report it was said that the police had not yet located the preacher's attackers. In Pakistan it is said that when Christians are attacked or killed, the police tend to drag their feet in investigating such crimes.

Our Christian brothers and sisters in Islamic and non-Islamic nations like China and North Korea who live daily under the gun deserve so much praise and admiration for being determined to not back down when faced by so much hate, deception, and evil. They truly have the spirit of the early church, the spirit that God intended the church to have.

My Favorite Spot During My First Trip to Turkey

When I traveled to Turkey in May 2003 as a tourist, my favorite sacred spot that I was able to see in Istanbul was the church of St. Savior in Chora. The mosaics in this church (now museum) were to me masterpieces of Byzantine art. I also very was moved to see what looked to me like an artist's attempt to even portray the Holy Spirit. Information about the history of St. Savior can be read here.


Also you can see here frequent traveler to Turkey, Dick Osseman's photos of mosaics in the church.

For Christians who feel that YouTube is a worthless contaminant, these two videos from YouTube shows the usefulness of the site for Christians who seriously want to expand their knowledge of places and lands where Christianity was once the chief religion and where the love, hope, and peace of Jesus Christ must be taught again.

Knowing The One True God Alleviates Fear

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. (Psalm 23:4) New King James Version

There is so much fear in the world now because so many people do not know the One True God. Fear drives people into murder and the biggest form of murder of all, war. Fear is causing people to close themselves off and not attempt to trust anyone. Fear is leading others down the road into intense depression. So many people live in fear on a personal, national, and international level.

I look daily at a blog written by a young Turkish guy who writes for a major newspaper in Istanbul, Turkey. I have traveled to Turkey 5 times, and have developed strong friendships with a number of people there. My boyfriend is Turkish and searching for God even without my help. He is a nominal Muslim, so perhaps the Holy Spirit in me has spurred him on to try and find the truth.

In Turkey I see a nation of people who are in a terrible spiritual struggle between secularists and Islamists. God and Satan are in a struggle for Turkish souls. There are a few Christians there to give off a little light, but in Turkey there is a form of opaque darkness. Turkey is where so much of the early church had its' home. Most American Christians do not know that New Testament books like Ephesians was written to the church in Ephesus which is in modern day Turkey.

Getting back to this young Turkish journalist who writes a political and cultural blog. I used to write on there, but he developed a very hostile, untruthful, and arrogant tone in his writing. When he eventually allowed a Turkish guy who lives here in the states, and who seems to be extremely bitter, paranoid, and hostile to begin writing there, I quit making comments. Over time this guy's blog has become an arena where he repeatedly expresses his four fears:

1.The European Union continues to drag its' feet on accepting Turkey as a full member.
2. Racism is rising worldwide, particularly against Turks in Germany.
3.The lie of the Armenian Genocide and the Armenian diapora's campaign against Turkey
4.The headscarf issue is the biggest issue in Turkey today.

For all his liberal and humane talk he never mentions the women, children, and old people who beg on the streets of Istanbul. He thrives on conspiracy theories against Turkey. I am African-American, and the word "racism" shows up on his blog more regularly than it does in my conversations in several months.

This poor guy shows obsessive tendencies, and it is really sad because he once wrote about art, literature, and Turkish history. Now all I see is helpless rage and pessimism. He is convinced that Germany is heading in the direction of another Kristallnacht and that the Neo-Nazis will take office in Germany and that there will be another Holocaust, but this time against Turkish Muslims. Are things really that bad in Germany? Anything can happen with people. But...

Then this guy starts about his fear that the present government in Turkey is moving the country down a path that will make it into another Iran ruled by imams. One of my best friends lives in Istanbul, and she voted for the Islamist party that is in power. She does not wear a headscarf, is educated, and does not feel that Turkey will become another Iran.

Over the past year since I began to follow his blog a blogger from the Netherlands who lives in Istanbul with his Turkish wife has tried to get him to see reason and to stop embellishing the truth. He has reached out to him, and even asked that they meet. This poor journalist seems to be so fearful and paranoid that he has yet to meet the older Dutch blogger.

Fear seems to have caused this blogger to not accept reality. A few weeks ago he made a post in which he claimed that only older Turks were addicted to smoking. This is totally untrue. There is huge concern because so many teenagers are addicted to nicotine there. When I worked in Istanbul, I would go upstairs to the canteen at our school where so many students, both male and female, would be smoking that the atmosphere in the area looked a smoky blue.

I had planned to write about something else here, but when I saw this blogger's entry for today, it did not touch me until a little later: Christina Who Saves The World. At first I laughed to myself because the title seemed so naive and childish, but then I thought "Christina" and then "Christ." Christ came in to the world to save it. He was promised by God from the very beginning after Adam and Eve fell. This little girl that this blogger is putting so much hope in CANNOT change the world or attitudes in her country permamently, only Christ CAN save this world. When I saw this title, I began to wonder if this was that blogger's silent outcry unknown even to him to the real God, not the Allah that he follows. I hope God is working on him.

This blogger and I used to exchange friendly e-mails about our common interests, but he always appeared to me as a young man who was very fearful. Even through a veneer of intellect, I saw a very weak side; a person who was stiff, lonely, and who was only comfortable with his education not really with people. I saw a person who believed he was tolerant of other opinions until someone disagreed with him. He seemed to have built a cocoon around himself, as one person commented the other day on his blog. It is really sad. I ask here that you pray for Emre (the name of this blogger) and his country and that the light of Jesus Christ can rescue so many people there who are searching and empty. Neither politics, the EU, the eradication of headscarves, their dead president who is also the secularist's God Mustafa Kemal Ataturk, or Allah can save Turkey.

Emre is not the only fearful Turk. I have met others in person who were fearful but unlike him were more humble and not quite as tormented.

Remember how often in The Bible that God would tell His people to "Fear not"? I wish Emre knew this.

"Fear not, neither be discouraged." (Deuteronomy 1:21) New King James Version

What Napoleon Had to Say About Jesus Christ

Napoleon Bonaparte was one of the greatest military geniuses of all time. He came from a modest background, but elevated himself through vision and hard work to become the emperor of the French. Born on the island of Corsica, his native language was not French, but Italian. Still over time Napoleon became more French than the French. He nearly united Europe by war, placing members of his family on several thrones in Europe. He was a man who believed in himself and saw himself as inheriting the mantles of Alexander the Great and Julius Caesar. But what did he think about Jesus Christ, this man who had a rather large ego and was very sure of himself and his abilities especially in the area of warfare?

Well then, I will tell you. Alexander, Caesar, Charlemagne and I myself have founded great empires; but upon what did these creations of our genius depend? Upon force.

Jesus alone founded His empire upon love, and to this very day millions will die for Him.... I think I understand something of human nature; and I tell you, all these were men, and I am a man: none else is like Him; Jesus Christ was more than man.... I have inspired multitudes with such an enthusiastic devotion that they would have died for me.... but to do this it was necessary that I should be visibly present with the electric influence of my looks, my words, of my voice. When I saw men and spoke to them, I lighted up the flame of self-devotion in their hearts....

Christ alone has succeeded in so raising the mind of man toward the unseen, that it becomes insensible to the barriers of time and space. Across a chasm of eighteen hundred years, Jesus Christ makes a demand which is beyond all others to satisfy; He asks for that which a philosopher may seek in vain at the hands of his friends, or a father of his children, or a bride of her spouse, or a man of his brother. He asks for the human heart; He will have it entirely to Himself. He demands it unconditionally; and forthwith His demand is granted. Wonderful!

In defiance of time and space, the soul of man, with all its powers and faculties, becomes an annexation to the empire of Christ. All who sincerely believe in Him, experience that remarkable, supernatural love toward Him. This phenomenon is accountable; it is altogether beyond the scope of man's creative powers.

Time, the great destroyer, is powerless to extinguish this sacred flame; time can neither exhaust its strength nor put a limit to its range.

This is it, which strikes me most; I have often thought of it. This is which proves to me quite convincingly the Divinity of Jesus Christ.

In his lifetime some saw Napoleon as the Anti-Christ because of the widespread devastation and suffering his wars of conquest brought to Europe. Napoleon's words show that even he was able to grasp the truth about Jesus Christ, something which some people who profess to be Christians are ill equipped to.

Searching Islam

I am an avid reader. There have been few times when I have started a book and in boredom or perplexity put it aside. I did not do it when I first read The Bible even though the books of Leviticus and Deuteronomy can sometimes be a bit tortuous being two books of laws, procedures, and a census penned by Moses. I did place The Quran aside, however, after I had gotten a quarter of the way through it. It was a mistake to do so since I began it last year, and if I had been more tenacious and focused in my reading I would have completed it by now. But just reading the first 25% of The Quran revealed something to me. The book is disjointed and disorganized. There is no logic in its' set up mainly because the book was compiled quickly and without thought by Prophet Muhammad followers after his death. His writings had been just strewn around on camel skins or anything he had happened to come across as writing material.

The Bible is a totally different case of centuries of careful work by scribes and scholars. Even though the 66 books of The Bible were written over a 1500 year period, the entire narrative is organized and flows to a logical conclusion. One theme runs throughout The Bible. God is waiting for His people to turn to Him as their protector and provider and He promises that He will ultimately send His Son to save humankind from itself. Throughout The Bible God silently begs, "Just love Me and depend on me and I will rain down blessings and protection." From the beginnng when Adam and Eve were tricked into sin, God gave the promise of salvation to ALL of humankind. Even today on the final day of 2007, He is still pleading and is holding a promise to a world that is lost and dying. I believe there is going to a castastrophic war between Christianity and Islam in the very near future. All the indiciations are there. Even if a Democrat is elected president of the United States next year, the dangers are still here and eventually horrible things are going to happen.

What is so frighting about Islam is that few, even Muslims, do not know where their religion stands. Some are even smooth westerized outright liars with a hidden agenda, but I believe the majority of Muslims are as baffled by the bloodshed as non Muslims are. Some have the moral stamina to not constantly make up conspiracy theories like comments I saw on a blog the other day saying after the murder of Benazir Bhutto that "I also do not believe Al-Qaeda to be responsible, in fact I do not even think Al-Qaeda even exists." The response by the blog writer was this, " As for Al-Qeada, it's the code word for a covert operation of cover up proportions, utilizing some 'bad' Muslims to give Islam a bad name, and further the 'divide and conquer' philosophy of some known and unknown evil forces who are constantly at war with the good and plenty." If this is the mindset of some "GOOD Muslims or those who don't practice any religion at all anymore" I think there is real cause for concern.

As a Christian I am in a sticky situation facing a Muslim or former Muslim who is lost and searching. All I can do is try to live up to the standards which Jesus Christ set and lived by when He was here on earth. His life was exemplary and unblemished. He died a horrifying and painful death, but He rose and again and lives on. The Bible says He will come again to this earth to reign, and all the signs are falling into place to show that perhaps the time is drawing near when He will appear. Jesus said these words to His followers when they asked about the signs of His return. As you read here, notice that not once does Jesus tell His followers to fight back. He only wants them to face the truth of what is going to happen, and not hide their head in the sand or place a nebula of falsehoods over reality.

Jesus answered: "Watch out that no one deceives you. For many will come in my name, claiming, 'I am the Christ,' and will deceive many. You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains.
"Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved. (Matthew 24:4-14)

The best people to get Muslims to see the light are apostates from the faith. In my new Links on Islam I have included three sites by apostates who warn the world and other Muslims of the true meaning of their faith which they think can be summed up as a cult of bondage and death. They are Faith Freedom International, Apostates of Islam, and Islam Watch. They can be clicked here or on the links.

Resolutions and holiday slogans can get a little trivial and over used at times, but I wish for a peaceful New Year and that the hearts of many will see a need for peace change on a personal before it moves to a global level.

In The Weeks To Come

Before listening to Wafa Sultan's video above, read what I have written below. Mrs. Sultan was one of Time magazine's 100 most influential people of 2006.

In the weeks to come, whenever I write here I have decided to discuss what I know and what I am learning about Islam. I have lived in the country of Turkey which is about 98% Muslim, a nation which for close to 2000 years had been inhabited by first Christian Armenians and Assyrians and later Byzantine Greeks. Like most places in that part of world, the Islamic sword came and descended on the necks and lives of the people and they converted or were driven out or killed.

Writing about what I know and is learning is going to be both a catharsis and highly painful because it is rarely a week that passes when I did not hear from someone in Turkey who is either a friend or former student. The man I will probably never see again and whom I love said recently to me that "I am your husband and want you to come back here," is a nominal Muslim Turk. I may never return to Turkey because the climate there is tense, there is no future there just as some of my students has expressed to me. Christian I should never have forgotten these Scriptures from II Corinthians 6:14-17:

Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: I will dwell in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they shall be My people. Therefore come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you.

Do how think this scripture means to persecute or kill those who are not Christians. I believe when it seems that unbelievers are trying to get you to come over to their way and there is not genuine respect, it is our duty to wave good-bye to them. Some people cannot accept you as you are, but insist on dragging you over to their bad ways. This happens unless you can find a special person who is not a Christian and who has an open mind. I have over the years, but it has not been often. I have Muslim friends, gay friends, and atheist friends. It has worked between us because I nor they try to tell each other what to do or how to live. I was even told by a person I met online that I was creating the "wrong image" by having a Christian blog. I am? Well, I am not into the image business. I am a Christian, and a Romantic as my other blog shows. I write to not grab or seek attention, I do it because writing is like breathing and eating to me. If there is not out right hostility to what one stands for, there is always subtlety when Christians deal with some unbelievers.

Christians are to follow the example of our Lord who loved people, was a giver, but who told a lot of hard truths. Large amounts of what Jesus expressed was not meek and mild in context and nature. Jesus warned His followers that some things He would have to tell them would be painfully hard to stomach. As Christians we cannot straddle the fence; and it is not showing genuine love to not tell the full truth in order to not upset people in the areas where they like to be comforted. We cannot be over here one day and back over in another place the next day. We have to take a stand, whether it costs us friends, family, or our lives.

Over the past few months I have observed myriad behaviors from a lot of people who are Muslims or are what I call "kinda sorta Muslims." Islam looks less and less like a religion of peace when we look at what is happening sometimes daily, but certainly weekly. In less than a month there has been the issue of the teddy bear named Muhammad, week before last Christians in Egypt were attacked, then just Thursday opposition leader and former prime minister of Pakistan Benazir Bhutto was assassinated. Still, in the era of political correctness (I once worshipped at this false altar) few want to be seen as bigots. Christians have to ask themselves were the prophets of the Old Testament bigots when they confronted their kings who had gone bad and joined the pagan way? No! They were telling the truth and giving tough love.

I am a pacifist, so imagine how I felt when my country entered two wars. I was sceptical (still is, but not on the same issues) because I saw these wars as once again people of color getting beaten down by arrogant white men. Still as a former Bible college attendee (I quit because the work was too easy) and someone who has read about and observed Islam since 1979 during the Iranian hostage crisis, I knew some things that the average American did not, and I want to and intend to learn more. Knowledge is power and light.

In the last 7 years I have been turned off by the behavior of some Christian evangelicals and a lot of Republicans. I know now that when they did get it right, they were right especially when they said that America has to win these wars now that we are in them. The Christian world was complacent and divided when the Islamic threat began after the 8th century. Latin Christians saw Eastern Christians as strange, effete, heretics. Eastern Christians saw the Latins as uncultured, nasty, stinking, greedy, hypocritical brutes. What I have long known and refused to admit to myself is that the Quran teaches that a Muslim is not required to tell someone who is not a Muslim the truth. There are Muslims who will however, but I have known some whose stories, word, and position will change like the wind. Dealing with them makes one think you have memory loss or is losing your mind, 'But you said?' I would think. Also there are some who say that they practice no religion, but who are like the devout 9/11 hijackers who went to a strip club the night before they took and flew those planes. I have met Muslims who eat pork. It seems to be a chameleon religion which changes like the wind.

I want to emphasize here again, I am not writing this to inspire hate or fear. My situation has been very unique because each time I went to work in Turkey, there were plenty of people who were afraid for me and saw all Muslims as blood thirsty killers, but I went anyway to teach English only, never to convert because that was not my mission. To have experienced what I have has been a great gift because God has put me in a position to educate people and share what I know. Americans are new kids on the block in dealing with this religion. Europe is not, having for centuries dealt with the Ottoman Turks who were, until the advent of the Turkish republic, the defenders of the Islamic faith. When I first visited Topkapi Palace in Istanbul, we were shown a room where one of the prophet Muhammad's swords were kept on display.

I feel such sadness for my friends who are Muslims and may not know the truth or cannot reveal it about their religion. I doubt that many have ever read the Quran like I have read all of the Bible. I have read a great deal of the Quran, and over the next year I hope to find time to continue examining it. Most Muslims have never read the Hadith which are stories by followers of the prophet Muhammad concerning him. Many Muslims are sweet, decent people who would give you the shirt off their back, but do not know. They just do not know. But there is a monsterous and a smooth deceptive element in Islam too. The smooth deceptive ones are more dangerous than the openly violent ones, because it becomes impossible to understand where they really stand.

I want to say that the first thing is to compare and contrast the lives of Jesus and Muhammad. There is very much contrast, but very little to compare. Jesus was the Prince of Peace and was always on the move during his ministry to aide the sick, poor, and the physically and spiritually dying. He never lifted a sword. He is not a dead prophet, but continues to live. To be a Christian you must believe He lives, and not try and use scientific and intellectual arguments to figure out if He does. Do so, and you set yourself up for failure. Also if Islam is a peaceful religion, why is it that every week there is some outrage? The inhabitants of Islamic countries know not to make too many waves, they know prison, the bullet, or the bomb quickly awaits them if they speak out. It is so sad and tragic.

I am not encouraging hate and fear here, just knowledge and vigilance. Americans are far from perfect and like so many including myself, the government and others wanted to trust some of these people. But a bad element has long terrorized Islamic nations. There are probably millions of Muslims who want to speak out and breathe, but they are in a a position like those Germans under the thumb of the Nazis or whites who lived in the US south during segregation. They know like these people what happens to traitors.

We have short memories in this age, but just recall Salman Rushdie. His plight should be a clue to what is lurking for those who break ranks in Islam.

Jesus Is the Reason For the Season

A movie that really should be shown for the Christmas season but has always been overlooked at that time is Ben Hur.

While I was growing up every Easter The Ten Commandments, another one of my favorite Biblical epics from the latter part of Hollywood's Golden Age, was shown very year. I would eagerly watch the four movie on TV. It wasn't until I was an adult that I saw the 1959 version of Ben Hur for the first time. The is also a 1925 silent version of the film which is also a masterpiece of filmmaking; I have also seen it.

Ben Hur was adapted from the novel Ben Hur: The Tale of The Christ by General Lew Wallace, which I have also read. As a new Christian I watched the 1959 version of the film over and over, and the message of the film became engrained in my thoughts on how a person can overcome impossible odds through the redeeming power of Jesus Christ. Even though Jesus was rarely physically near in the lives of Judah Ben Hur and his family during their darkiest and most tragic times, he was actually working to save them physically and spiritually.

The movie Ben Hur, which stars Charlton Heston, received many Academy Awards and is one of the greatest films of all time begins with the born of Jesus Christ. This is the scene.




At the same time that Jesus Christ, the Peace of Peace, is being born somewhere in Judea another baby is born named Judah Ben Hur. Judah is also a prince, but unlike Jesus who is born in a cave used as a stable, Judah is born into a family of wealth and priviledge. Years later when Judah and his family is betrayed by his childhood best friend the leader of the Roman garrison, Masala, Judah learns fast that his position will not save him from being condemned to be a galley slave and keeping his mother and sister from being confined to the dungeon of the Fortess of Antonia. On his forced trek to the galleys, Judah encounters Jesus for the first time in this powerful scene.



Throughout the four years that Judah survives the galleys, a feat that few could, he vows to get revenge for the destruction of his family. All the time Jesus that is God is working in his life and is keeping him alive, not fate.

Once Judah gets his revenge, he realizes that it is not sweet. He learns that his mother and sister have become lepers and live in a cave with many other lepers in the Valley of the Lepers. One day Judah follows his former slave and the woman he loves Esther to the Valley of the Lepers where she secretly goes to give Judah's mother and sister food. Esther who has often talked to Judah about "the young rabbi" (Jesus) who teaches love and forgiveness has sworn to Judah's mother Miriam and his sister Tirzah that she would never tell Judah that they have survived imprisonment and are now lepers. But Judah finds out and together they all go to find Jesus in the hope that He can save Tirzah who is dying. As it turns out on the day they seek Him out, Jesus is on trial and has been condemned to be crucified. All hope seems to be lost. However, as Jesus is being forced pass them carrying the Cross, Judah's compassionate gesture to the Man who gave him a gourd of water on his march to the galleries and Miriam's, Tirzah's, and Esther's sorrow and shock for the injustice of Jesus' treatment brings about a miracle that can be seen in this clip from the final scene of the movie.



The best version to see Ben Hur in is letter box, so you will not miss anything.

In his death on the Cross, Jesus has the power to change lives. Even though He is not physically with us today, He still has the power to change lives. His life was about loving, giving, and commpassion. His death came about because of jealousy, envy, and the inability of a group of people to face the truth about who He was and what He stood for. But in the end He triumphed because His death was a sacrifice for all humankind to be rescued from the darkness and horror of sin. He is not a prophet as some think, He is the Son of God and He unlike any other prophet still lives.



Jesus IS the reason for the season.

Steve's Story

In my Thursday post, I wrote about Steven Eberhart, who went to grade school and rode the same bus with me when I was a girl. He stabbed an off duty female police officer who did security at a local grocery store. A few years ago, Steve started attending my church briefly. He did not go very long, but while he did he told me that he suffered from depression. On reading his story, I am wondering if he suffered from more than just depression. Did he have a more serious form of mental illness such as schizophrenia which may have caused him to become violent?

I firmly believe that mental illness is not only a psychological disease but also a spiritual ailment. Mental illness is so common in today's world because most people, even some who think they are close to God lack the tools to face life's challenges. Why do some people cruise through life's storms and others crumble? In time I will explain through my writings here why.

For myself, accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour, understanding and applying His teachings, reading my Bible and prayer has helped me in a way it is difficult to put into words. I suffered from depression throughout my teen years and was eventually crippled by it beginning in my late 20s throughout much of my 30s. When I realized just how alone and desperate I was for something bigger, permanent, and more meaningful than anything the world has to offer in the long run, I learned what it meant to be born again into a life guided and devoted to God. I was literally cured.

Steve attended the same church where I accepted Jesus Christ. On Thursday I phoned my pastor and we talked awhile about his situation and mental illness. My pastor says that I am her biggest success story. She also has a daughter who is very mentally disturbed and has also had several confrontations with the law. Over the years Pastor Patricia has seen many people go through her church who were ravaged by mental illness and intense spiritual emptiness. Most never applied the precepts that she taught in the pulpit. I did because first I accepted that I had a problem and second I wanted to become what God intended me to be. I learned that I could never be fully cured or rescued from depression by my own efforts, medication, and by going to see counselors. I have had some every good counselors in my day, some who said some good and wise things. One of my counselors confessed to me that she was a Christian. But it was only when I became a Christian too, studied and prayed, did something click inside me. I still battle with self doubt, and I even feel loneliness sometimes, but in the end I always remember that Jesus died for me and everyone else and that God will never abandon me. People come and go out of our lives, but He is eternal and will always be there. We can hold on to Him. In fact, He wants us to hold on to Him.

Yesterday Steve's story was in the newspaper. It can be read here. My mother and I were saying yesterday "If only Steve had kept coming to our church and had alllowed Pastor Patricia to pray for him..."

What has happened to Steve could happen to any of us. There is a war for our minds and souls going on. I will be talking about this too eventually.

After years of debilitating depression, I have been cured by surrender to Jesus Christ. I feel like Job who lost everything that mattered to him, but God, and was granted again even more than he lost because he never lost his faith and love for God. My life is beginning again. Sadly for Steve, it looks like it has ended not in the bodily sense, but spiritually he is dead because of his illness and the possibility that he will not be a free man for a long time. Still for him, because Jesus said,

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." (Matthew 7:7, New International Version)


Please pray for the officer who at the last I heard is still alive and pray also for Steve.

God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5, New International Version)

My Christian Journey

I used to think of people who called themselves "born again Christians" as being pretentious impostors. Being a Christian in my opinion was only being moral and believing in God. I did not understand that a person could actually have a life changing relationship with God even though he seemed to be so invisible and faraway until I actually was born again in January 2001.

For almost an entire decade I had suffered from varying degrees of depression. I was first misdiagnosed as have schizoaffective disorder a mild form of schizophrenia. Unlike some schizophrenics I was very high functioning, never heard any voices or hallucinated. I was very much aware of reality. I knew my doctor had to be wrong. Later I was diagnosed as being bipolar. To me, that seemed more like my dilemma I experienced emotional highs and lows frequently. But still I did not have the knowledge to realize that most of what I was having were spiritual problems. I had tried to fight life's battles on my own.

My parents, especially my dad, raised me in a sheltered way. He himself could not deal very well or logically with life's conflicts. He grew up in a highly dysfunctional family. Dad never really accepted his mother's death until he was well into his 50s. She died when he was 18 in 1961. He could not comprehend his mother and father in-law who lived and not just talked the Christian life. His parents had been very different from this. My maternal grandparents were not rich people by any means, but they were always opening up their home to others less fortunate. Some children who had neglectful parents would have gone hungry if not for my grandparent's generosity. People knew that if they came by their house they would automatically experience my grandparent's hospitality. My dad was influenced by psychology and human thought. He believed a person, if he or she were good, should just sail through life. Everything should be easy, not confrontation or conflict. If a bad incident happened to him, he would either flew into a rage or become depressed, often trying to heal himself through overeating. I witnessed my father's behavior and my grandparent's. I was influenced by both for good and ill.

By 2000 I knew I must find a solution to my life. I had not worked in years because the doctors told me I would never be able to stand the stress of a job. However, I was an ambitious person with a masters degree. From a little girl I had had big dreams. To just sit and let my life atrophy was an intolerable thought to me. I felt I was nothing without work. Off and on for years I had experienced thoughts of suicide. In the nick of time, I learned about a small store front church from one of the pastors at my aunt's church, I went there and found my answer. One evening not long after I started visiting this church, I was asked by the pastor had I been born again. I asked her what was that. I had heard the term, but what it entailed was never clear to me. She told me the meaning, and that night, I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior. If I had not, I would probably not be here typing this.

From that evening forward, my battle with depression lessen. I went back to work taking jobs both here in the US and in Turkey. In April of this year I was evaluated so a decision could be made as to whether I was eligible to continue to receive Worker's Compensation. The doctor who did the evalution told me that I was cured and that he saw no reason why I should not able to rebuild my life and my career. The years of medication and counseling had not done it. The only thing that had cured me was my acceptance of Jesus Christ as my saviour.

Read this article: The Born Again Experience and it will explain more of what being born again means.

The Reasons For This Blog

This is my third blog. The previous two were deleted a couple of weeks ago when my emotions were really running high. I deleted them both at the spur of the moment and also after some pondering over some feelings of slight dissatisfaction with them. I was basically writing what most people blog about, their personal feelings, experiences, and commentary on current events. For sometime I have had recurring thoughts of starting a blog oriented towards Christian subjects and a Christian perspective about current events. Therefore, after I deleted my secular blogs, I started making plans for here. Presenting my new blog: The Ichthys.

If you live in America, you may occasionally see an Ichthys on automobiles. It is the silver fish decal seen on the tail end of some cars. The standard ichthys placed on a vehicle is a symbol that the owner is a Christian. Previous to the use of the cross as the symbol for Christianity, the early Christian church used the ichthys or fish as their secret symbol so members would know where to congregate for meetings and services. The early years of the church, particularly the first three centuries of its' existence, were racked by persecution from the Roman Empire. Therefore, the church was in some areas basically mobile moving from one secret site to another. Ichthys is actually a Greek acronym which if translated into English is roughly "Jesus Christ God's Son is Saviour."

The ichthys or fish as the symbol for primative Christians perhaps was adopted because references to fish are often made in the New Testament, the second half of the Bible. Four of Jesus' 12 disciples or followers were fishermen. Fish was one of the main food staples of Biblical times. Jesus himself personally on at least one occasion as told in the Bible cooked a meal of fish for his disciples. He also increased a small amount of fish on two occasions to feed a few thousand listeners and followers who came out to hear one of His sermons. Jesus also told his followers to become "fishers of men" meaning that He expected His followers, who were later to be called Christians, to spread His message of salvation (saving) from the darkness of evil and sin, along with hope, peace, and love for God. His followers were to fish for humanity the way a fishermen throw out their nets. The net is Christ's message. This net is a benevolent net, however. It brings one in from the darkness and hopelessness of sin. The net or message affects the heart and mind of the listener who wants a change for the better in his or her existence.

You might if you happen to come across this blog think, "uh oh, not another bigoted Christian fundamentalist, evangelical sitting on a holier than thou mountain waiting to condemn everyone to eternal hellfire, mixing politics with the spiritual to get brownie points with a certain sector of the society." Or you might think, "Uh oh, not another slick prosperity advocate teaching that God is a genie whom a person only has to say a few magic words to and all kinds of nice blessings will come raining down." No, I am neither one of these. I think of myself as a "primative" Christian. By primative here I do not mean the usual dictionary definition of someone or something that is crude or undeveloped, I mean that I am "primative" because I believe that the church must go back to its' roots, the way it was in its' first 300 years before corruption set in and before the church became so riddled by a type of spiritual gangene that it was no different from any other political/secular institution.

Today in America, church is big business. Here we seem to have with the big and megachurches something very similar to what Martin Luther fought against in the Roman Catholic Church back in the 1500s leading to what was the Reformation and the beginning of the Protestant Church. Reformation comes from the root "reform." What the church in America needs is reform. Since there is no really strong persecution of the church here since America is considered a Christian country, people have become soft in their following of Christ's teachings. We Christians have become anemic spiritually as a group, not very different from people who are agnostic or atheistic. We are Biblical illiterate and listen more to what our favorite preacher has to say without examining what the Bible says about the purpose of life and living. We arrogantly feel deep down inside that we don't need God or His spiritual guidance. We can go it alone. We want God on our terms, not His.

Religion is a controversial topic nowadays. Too many people hold extreme but unbalanced views of the relevancy of faith and God in this era. I decided to start this blog because I wanted to explain the Christian faith from a Biblical prospective. I wanted to show that the message of the Bible and Jesus Christ is timeless and that by reading or hearing it it can inspire hope to person who decides to believe it. It want to show from my own experience who Christianity can change lives for the better if it is practiced sincerely. With this blog I want to apply a Biblical perspective to some current events. I plan to present here a picture of the early church and its' history. I will be presenting advise from a Biblical viewpoint and also creating online prayers for nations and various groups in distress. In other words, the concern here will be Christianity in varying forms and in its' original state. I very much welcome comments, suggestions, and questions.

Peace Be With You...